The key to happiness and improving motivation is to practice being self-aware. This topic runs alongside mindfulness as well as positive self-talk. Let’s look at ourselves in an objective manner and analyze the facts. Self-reflection can be positive if you are not compelled to overthink and analyze subjective data. Our mind is often polluted by “feelings” which can be negative or positive given several situations. We tend to over analyze the negative feelings to come to a resolution that will produce a more positive feeling. The trouble with feelings as that they are often fleeting and they tie up a lot of energy that is better spent actually improving your life.
Here are a few questions you may ask yourself during these periods of self-evaluation:
- Am I this emotion?
- Am I this thought?
- Am I this circumstance?
- What have I done well?
- Where could I improve?
If you are focused on resolution it may be beneficial to improve your emotional vocabulary. It can be extremely frustrating to not be able to fully communicate feelings and discuss situations in a productive manner. This can be best accomplished with the assistance of a therapist.
Learn to understand what motivates you and determine whether that motivation is reasonable. Take this analysis further and decide if your expectations are reasonable/obtainable. It is okay to have boundaries and expectations. Understand that this includes walking away from people that are unable to respect your boundaries or meet your expectations. Give yourself permission to cut people loose.
Monitor your self-talk. Does negativity get you anywhere in life? Nope, sure doesn’t. Another tip, stay away from negative people. They will just drag you down.
Are you being proactive or reactive? Personally, I’m more reactive at the moment. I need to get back to being more proactive and working towards some goals. “One day at a time”, is not cutting it for me.
Stop Dwelling, Start Living.
